A while back, and I mean a while back, in boredom, I began to knock up my Life Story. I felt like spewing out about myself. And I wrote some sharing things about early parts of my life. Whilst deciding what to do this evening I found the file and decided to write a bit more. It's not in sequence with the old stuff, but it's something I found easy to write about. I may or may not write more, but here is part of my life. The gay bit. So yeah.

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Men are hot. There I said it. I’m not sure if you’ve been paying attention, but I am very much gay. I like men, and every now and again they like me. Sometimes.

But the thing is, is that being gay is part of me. Quite a big part. Not in the way where I want to flaunt it, and throw rainbows and unicorns everywhere, but in the way that it very much helped become who I am. It’s a long story really. But I figure that if you’re reading this you should probably expect long stories. If you wanted a short story you’d try the life of an ant, or Paris Hilton’s singing career. But this is my life so we’re going to tell it all.

In the beginning God created Take That. You’ve probably heard of them. A boy band who came back to become a man band. But in the nineties they were teen heart throbs. And although I wasn’t a teenager they were certainly having an effect on me. It’s hard to properly fancy someone at that age, I couldn’t have been more nine when they split up. But I remember being inexplicably drawn to them, like a moth to a flame, or a fat person to cake. I of course didn’t know what it meant at the time and so I carried on happily.

I thought I was straight of course. It’s what you do. I convinced myself I fancied Baby Spice, and later, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. But as the years went on it became more and more clear that boobs did nothing for me, and that Angel was clearly the attractive one of the Buffy ensemble.

So what happened next? Well this bits boring. You can go make tea. It’ll still be here when you get back. Really. Go on.

Are you back? Good. Then the teenage years came. A flurry of hormones and changes filled my life. And that’s when it was set in stone. I never announced it in my head. I rarely thought I was gay. I just liked men. I went on avoiding the inevitable questions from friends of who I fancied. I acted shy in the P.E. changing rooms, even if there was a guy I at the time fancied. (He’s fat now.) But I had accepted it to myself. And that was it. I was happy with it.

Until a point. As I got older I accepted the term gay upon myself. I fancied celebrities, and people at school, and I definitely wasn’t looking at boobs on the internet. It had just become part of my thoughts. But two things acted as a bizarre wake up call to the whole coming out process. It struck me: at some point people will have to know.

The first, was lesbians. I know, I know. They’re dirty and wrong, but some of my best friends are lesbians. And at the time it helped me out. A conveniently timed show called Sugar Rush merged into my late night TV marathons and gave me a character who had been through the same things. The slight confusion, but ultimate accepting of who they where. Until the point where it was becoming too much of their life to ignore. This set me off. It put the coming out thoughts into my head. And they weren’t going to go anywhere/

The second, was a ginger. I know, I know. They have no souls, but some of my best friends have been gingers. This specific one, Beci, appeared to me in a dream. I sat her down at college and confessed I was gay. She didn’t have a problem with it. Dream-Beci was amazing. And it became clear who the first person who should know should be.

Now I’m not proud of the next bit as I acted like the biggest chicken in the world. Think how big the Eiffel Tower is, and turn it into a chicken. Good. We’re there. Firstly I told her, not in college, but by email. And the worst bit was how many times I didn’t send the email, and the one time I tried to tell her I had something to say I changed my mind before she had replied. I was so worried she would reject me, or worse. But eventually it was done. And we got onto the important business… hot male celebrities. Especially me obviously insulting Boyzone. But that’s not important. The important bit was how good she was. And how much Beci will always rock!

And so one by one my friends were told. It spread so slowly at first, I remember. It was like a big check for each person. I told my close friends and my internet friends. But that wasn’t enough. Next it was my family.

Like I said, it’s a long story, between me and my gay-dom. So for now, that can be it. I leave you with the thought that you always have a great friend somewhere. No matter how you feel, there is someone to make you feel better. Even if you once pulled out a large chunk of her hair by accident…